Smelled so good, I got promoted, proposed to, and pardoned by a raccoon.
I sprayed this cologne on in the morning, and by noon I had three compliments, two phone numbers, and one suspiciously enthusiastic fist bump from a stranger in a suit.
My dog finally respects me. My plants started growing faster. Alexa started calling me Big Boss.
I walked past a bakery, and even the croissants turned their heads.
Whatever sorcery is in this bottle, I don't care. I smell like the lovechild of confidence and freshly printed money. Buy it before it’s banned for being too powerful.